Today started extremely rough. My pain was so bad…at least a 10. I was literally afraid to try getting out of bed for fear of damaging my feet and knees. I sat there and just cried and cried. I’m at my aunts for the weekend and I am thankful she heard me and came to ask if I needed help. Why do I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders? And why am I so hesitant to ask for help? I feel like I need to be superwoman or something. My neck and shoulders were so knotted and tight. I was completely overwhelmed. My aunt put some of my Voltaren gel on my shoulders and neck and massaged them. She helped me get to the restroom.
The mornings are the absolute worst for me. I need to accept the fact that I need mobility aids at this time. These pains and my poor walking makes me think of my mom. She was bedridden in her last days. I get so much panic and anxiety that the same things are happening to me. But I gotta keep telling myself that I’m not my mom. This trauma sucks. Yes I’m dealing with that too PTSD. I’m thankful for my aunt talking me down and helping me get through. I took my meds. They gave me Lyrica and it made me drowsy. I ended up falling asleep again. I kind of felt like I had a buzz. My uncle said it looked like I did. But I was just trying to get through the panic.
Mental illness and pain is no joke! I need to pound it in my head that asking for help is okay…as is using mobility aids. I need to learn that it’s okay to focus on myself. I don’t have to save the worlds problems. I also prayed too.
It’s now 3:46 pm and I’m doing much better. Still in pain but nowhere near as bad.
Thank God and family and friends for help.
Peace and Love,
❤ Dottie
Dottie's Journey 
YES! Use mobility aids. Even if just when you truly need them in the morning. No shame is that. And panic and anxiety are real, and make everything worse! Glad you shared the bible verse. We still go through things, but God made a way today for you~ Cathy
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I didn’t mean a bible verse but prayer…even though I see God’s promises not to leave us when we call out!
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I am glad you are feeling better. I have had a rough few days as I am in a rheumatoid and fibromyalgia flare. I have been taking prednisone for the flare up. I take lyrica, too and orencia. It gets crazy sometimes dealing with physical pain and mental health issues. I too deal with anxiety and depression. I am in the process of changing therapists and it really sucks just thinking about if this new one and I will understand each other. Take care.
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